Because they had nothing better to do, the UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants.

The British submitted a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."

The French submitted a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant -- a Personal Account."

The Germans submitted 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."

The Americans submitted an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s."

The Russians submitted a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant," couple with a poem, "The Joy and Freedom Brought Forth by the Soviet Elephant."

But the Japanese won with their promotional flier "We Have No Elephants, But Wouldn't You Rather Buy a Honda Instead?"